Monday, June 4, 2012

A Student’s Lament (Aye Aye Aye!!)


          I can’t tell you how much I hate school!!!!
          I used to get up (or come in after a nice run in the woods), hit the books or computer, do a few assignments before breakfast, then finish the rest after I ate.  I’d be done before noon (sometimes before 10!), and have the rest of the day to read, listen to music, help with dinner, take a walk, watch a DVD, or nap, if I’d been out running that morning.  I didn’t mind keeping up with my studies in the summer, because Aunt Lina allowed me to pursue any topic I wanted until I felt I’d exhausted my interest. 
          That’s how my research on mummies morphed into learning about archeology, mythology and folktales of foreign lands.  My fascination with one shell I picked up on a visit to Wildwood, when I was seven, lead me to learning all about univalves, bivalves, mollusks, shore life and the importance of water systems.  Every time I found something interesting, I looked up more about it.
          Then the move to New Jersey and this go-to-public-school routine…
          Suddenly I have a full day, every day, with mandatory schedules that allow me no time to do things that really matter to my life!  I have idiot teachers that make reading, writing, and learning the most boring, time-sapping task.  They don’t like it when I already know the material, especially if I know more about it than they do. 
          Let me give you a prime example :The “Aye Aye” dynasty of Russia (as I like to call it).
          We were learning about Russia in Social Studies, and how there was “this revolution” as the teacher called it, where they took the Tsar out of power.  The teacher, Mrs. Raschall, talked about Tsar Nicholas, and asked the class a question about him.  Of course, no one’s hand went up.  So after twenty seconds, I raised mine and answered her question, referring to the Tsar as Nicholas Romanov.  The teacher said I was wrong.
          HUH??
          She said I was wrong because it was Nicholas “Aye Aye,” not Nicholas Romanov.  She even pointed it out in the book and had the nerve to ask me if I’d read my Social Studies book.  I swear this is true – ask anyone in my class.  Ruby did a face-palm gesture.  Carl was laughing so hard he had his elbow across his face, to make like he was coughing!  I tried to explain that Nicholas the second and Nicholas Romanov were the same guy.  She couldn’t believe it & asked me how I knew that.  After all, it wasn’t in the book. 
          Louise, one of the quietest girls in the grade, came to my defense.
          “Did you ever see the movie ‘Anastasia’?  It begins with the Russian Revolution!  And it’s all about the Romanov dynasty.”
          Mrs. Raschall still insisted on calling him Nicholas “Aye Aye”.  Thank God she teaches Social Studies and not Shakespeare!  Imagine learning about Richard “Aye Aye Aye”.  It’s a fine example of NJ tax dollars at work -- a teacher who is barely literate.
          It scares me --the cost-per-pupil in NJ is one of the highest in the country, and there will be kids graduating without the basic knowledge of how to pronounce Roman numerals after a name.  A kid like that could become your boss someday!  I’d sure hate to work for someone who was dumber than me!
          I told Aunt Lina about Mrs. Raschall and the “aye aye” incident, & she discussed it with a neighbor, Amy Coddington, whose daughter, Daphne, is a freshman at White Cedars High School. There was a similar problem at the High School last week. Apparently the stupidity isn’t only limited to teachers at the D.S.W. Middle School. 
          It seems that freshman students at WCHS have to take a class called Freshman Community Skills, where they learn basic internet proficiency, financial literacy, how to fill in a job application and how to research a given topic.  According to Daphne, the kids call the class “Freshskills” (because it sounds like Freshkills, a former NY trash dump, & the class, like the old dump, stinks!).  Well, the other day in “Freshskills” the teacher told the class that in less than 10 years, all of them would probably need to apply for some form of insurance. Her assignment was to use the computer to get some sort of insurance quote.  Sounds simple, right?
          Daphne decided to look into car insurance.  The problem was that she had no car (yet).  The teacher told her to pretend she was insuring her Dad’s car, go on the computer & get a quote.  Daphne hesitated.  They were asking for the type of information that the teacher, in an earlier lesson, had told them NOT to give out.  Like her date-of-birth….driver’s license number (which she didn’t have anyway)….phone number and address…..but an assignment is an assignment, so she went ahead, filling in a phony license number & birth date.  Apparently she wasn’t the only one who figured that such a tactic would fulfill the assignment.
          The result?  More than half the freshman class was getting phone calls and e-mails that night from insurance salespeople, who were thinking of them as possible clients!  Daphne was called twice after school, and once after dinner; she kept telling the guy that it had been a classroom assignment, but he didn’t believe her.  On the fourth attempt, Amy Coddington handed the phone to her husband, who cursed at the guy and hung up.   Stuff like this was going on all across town, because the teacher hadn’t fully thought out the consequences of her assignment.  And this teacher’s supposed to be showing kids how to avoid making stupid mistakes while using a computer, right?
          Why am I wasting my life trapped with idiots?
          That’s not to say that all teachers are idiots.  I was at a college graduation party this past weekend, where I met a young teacher named Zara who obviously cared deeply for her first graders.  She teaches in Connecticut, and talked about how she adores her class, even the most rambunctious of them, and how hard it was when she sees some kids struggle to understand the lessons.  It just makes her look at other ways of approaching the lesson, like using pennies to teach math.  But even she had a bad teacher story!
          She told some of the adults at the party (I just happened to listen in) about a student-teacher whose reason for becoming a teacher was simply to “have the same hours as my kids, and the same days off.”  It galled Zara that this woman seemed to think that papers graded themselves and lesson plans magically appeared from thin air!  And the student-teacher even called the regular classroom teacher, who was supposed to grade her efforts, and gave the real teacher an argument because she didn’t exactly write her a glowing recommendation!
          It’s sad that the bad teachers are so bad that they overshadow the good ones.  But it’s like that with everything, I suppose.  If something good happens, you may tell ten, twenty or even thirty people.  But if something bad happens, you’ll complain about it to everyone you meet, even strangers.
          Looking at what I’ve written, I guess that I’m a prime example of that!  I’ve just complained about 3 bad teachers, to the wide world of the interwebs.  But what else can be done? 
           Aunt Lina asked Zara what, if anything, she would recommend that she do as my guardian, because this teacher is obviously lees than qualified.  And Sara said that if my Social Studies teacher isn’t tenured (and she isn’t – it’s her first year), to tell the administrators or the board about her BEFORE she makes that tenured status.
          Otherwise, White Cedars will be stuck with this teacher until she decides to retire.  Yes, stuck with an educator who can’t pronounce Roman numerals properly.  But after all, it’s not as if she teaches Math or anything….
          Aye aye aye!!!!  (And I don’t mean three!)
          Until my next post…..
          Randi

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